Turn Offs...

We've all got deal breakers. Mostly we reserve deal breakers for whomever we are dating. They did "such and such and that is a deal breaker". Then we move on.

But what happens when your friends do things that are turn offs? When friends do it...it can't be a deal breaker. Cause they're your friend. You can't just kick them to the curb. Do you say something? Joke about it? Bitch to other friends that your other friend did something that you deem icky? What are the rules here?

I have a friend whom I adore. We have known each other for five years. We've seen each other cry and seen each other naked. Both are huge girl milestones, friend-wise. In college, I would have included "held back each others hair when throwing up at a Sigma Chi party" to the list of girl milestones but now that I'm in my thirties, throwing up in bushes isn't a weekend activity anymore. So, this friend...Friend "A" was a treasure. And one day we decide to meet at a cafe for lunch. Turns out, I knew the waiter that was waiting on us. And, my friend the waiter, ended up bring us all sorts of treats on the house and when the bill came didn't charge us for half of what we ordered. Awesome! So, I said to friend "A" that we should tip him on what the total would have been had he not comped so many of our items. I mean, we ordered these things with the idea that we would pay for what we ordered, right? So...imagine my surprise when she looks up at me and says she's just going to tip based on the substantially lowered bill. I was stunned. So, I tipped my waiter friend alone based on what the original bill would have been...and then some. And I decided not to hang with Friend "A" for awhile.

But should I have called her on the ick? Me thinks I should have. But how? Would it have really changed anything? I guess I'll never know.

After some time apart I ran into Friend "A" at a birthday party and I have to say we are forever changed. I still like her. We'll still be friends but something in me has shifted. I guess, even with friends, there are deal breakers. Bummer.