Missing...

I like to miss people and have them miss me. It's something that we all unconsciously strive for. Being missed. We want people to enjoy our company and long for it when they don't have it. We want people to be delighted to see us after time apart from them. Missing is important.

The opposite of missing must then be boredom. "Oh, you again," is something that no one wants to hear. We want to be missed. And this idea is one that I have used in my relationship for ages. My husband and I, without meaning to, are busy. We are not that couple that spends every waking moment with each other. Instead, we leave each other the freedom to aspire and spend time seeking out our own passions and interests. By doing this, we are both fulfilled creatively and don't look to each other to complete our own identity...creatively, at least. And in doing so, we always miss each other. And because we miss each other we are always thrilled to be in each others company. It's one of our "secrets" to success.

These days it's hard to miss people. Mostly because we are so accessable to each other. My best friend in London and I email daily. When he comes to town it's lovely but it feels like I saw him yesterday because I am up to date with everything in his life. So, while I miss him physically his accessibility to me makes me not really "miss" him. Think of the days when people weren't so accessible. When someone you loved wasn't just a phone call or email away. When we as people could go "missing" for a few hours because cell phones and emails were so available. People would say they were meeting at 7pm for dinner and just have to be on time because they wouldn't be able to call or text or email that they were running late.

Now that I am a mommy and time is more prescious than gold or front row tickets to a Radiohead concert, I miss people again. For the first time in a long time. And it's nice. I get excited to see them and hear how they are. I appreciate them more. I ache when we part and get excited to make plans for three weeks from now. Tonight I went to dinner with a friend. Thirty minutes before our meeting I called her and we spoke as we were driving to meet. We hung out for a glorious catch up session and then as I was driving home she called me to continue our talking. It was glorious because we don't get to do it as much any more...and absence has made the heart grow fonder. As it turns out, I missed missing people.

But I'm still accessable by email. My iPhone is always in my pocket so that I can get all emails within moments of their reciept and send a few lines back quickly. I long for a few hours of being unreachable. Perhaps everyday for four hours I will turn my phone off, close my computer and go missing with my daughter to the park or the mall or the frozen yogurt shop. Maybe we need to go missing so that people can miss us more. So, that our time with each other isn't so taken for granted. And with that, I close my computer.